All Along

What if I did not know the truth 

When I died

It was only a diminished light

And I could not admit it

Having to cross to the other shore

With no raft

With murk below



What if truth did not follow me

Where I did go follow me

Faithfully to the crimson mud

On the other side where the child aspect of men

Romp and revel and reveal their secrets



What if truth's death were time's death

A covering-over by static dust

A dismantled face

Forever turned to eight and four



What if more and more truths 

Scattered 

However high or low I climbed

However high I sank

However low I sank



What if my thankfulness for truth

Was always ever sometimes only

Thankfulness for collages 

With pasted fairies and glitter 

And mirages of solid men in vests



What if truth's numbered interests

Counted leagues past my own

If some tetrabrachius

Played cunning cards with me all along



What if truth's running joke all along

Was this: to have me take

Back for forth and ninth 

For twenty-ninth

Become a planet with two poles myself



What if truth like some anti-god

Did not exist but destroyed 

Thoroughly nonetheless

Urged me find castles in dust

Comfort in unstoppable black holes



What if the war with truth

Within truth itself

Came to an end

Only when truth and truth's death

Gets me again again again and again



Back at the start

When I stood in the diminished light

Pretending all along to have legs

In the diminished light light light

Light pretending all along

The flickering did not frighten me?