On words

On words.  What’s the word for that time in your life, when you’re trying to get back to where you were, but it takes forever, he asked.  Despair, I said, and he sort of chuckled under his breath.  I guess that’s a good word for it, he said with a lighter tone than was fitting for the occasion.  There was more I wanted to say, about how I thought the proper philosophical term for what he was describing was the Loss of Truth–that loss from which you can never recover–but the night had to continue: I would go off to work and he, he would go off into his lonely and heartwrenched night, happy at least that he had finally found the right word for what he was experiencing, what he could not help but experience.  Sometimes words do this for us: they cheer us up when nothing else will, or can.


  1. mentalnotes1 says:

    When my husband passed 2 years ago of covid, I was so numb all I could do is say fuck everyday and lord help me please. Ahhhh, it hurt so bad I had to rub my chest 23 hours of the day to keep my heart from physically breaking. If I were elderly I would have died from a broken heart the pain was so great! . Now I say God thank you that I didn’t have to visit the funny farm, He saw me through as He always does. Now I live with the grief, still hurts, just not acutely. So the word “fuck” is a good word, curse words are healthy to use every now and again when appropriate. There have been test done that prove curse words relieve pressure 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Richard Q says:

    You are a warrior of spirit. Your story here will stay with me, I know it. I want you to know too that you have genuine love coming to you from Key West, Florida. I will be thinking about you, and your own love, trying to glorify them with the little but significant part I know.

    I have always been careful throughout my life concerning my tongue. In other words, I would “watch it,” in the way the article explains can be dangerous. It had mainly to do with children. Father Zosima, in Dostoyevsky’s Brothers Karamazov, said that we should always speak as though children are near. But as of late I have come more into your corner, and both in my writing and speaking I have “let loose” now and then. I feel I have grown wise enough to speak gently with children, and bold enough to see the grace and relief in those times when we curse to stay sane.

    I am grateful in the extreme that you are a part of the world.


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